A bride-to-be sparked a debate after asking if it’s ok to ban a child from her wedding who has ADHD and is apparently “badly behaved”.
Posting to a Mumsnet forum, the woman explained that the child in question is the daughter of her cousin’s new boyfriend, who she hasn’t met.
The wedding, which is taking place next April, is a child-friendly event and the bride wants all of her friends and family to bring their children.
She also said that her husband-to-be “loves kids” and the event will be having “lots of kids entertainment”.
Despite this, she doesn’t want the child at the event.
She wrote: “My cousin has a relatively new boyfriend who I haven’t met and he has a daughter around eight or nine who I also haven’t met.
“Apparently the girl has ADHD and is not very well behaved. I’m also not that close to my cousin (only ever see her at family gatherings, we have no relationship outside of that, and it’s about once a year!).”
The poster said she told her cousin she could bring a plus one but she now wants to bring her boyfriend’s daughter too.
She went on to say that the daughter could “easily stay home with her mum”.
“She just wants to come for the holiday as I live quite far away and it will be a family holiday for her (they’re renting an Air B&B with a pool etc),” she wrote.
“I feel quite bad saying no but feel like I don’t want a kid who a) I don’t know and b) may be badly behaved??
“I’m not anti-ADHD at all, in fact about 6 of the kids coming have ADHD/ autism/ special needs, but the point is we know them and have a relationship with them. AIBU (am I being unreasonable) to say no?”
The comment section was divided, however a lot of social media users slammed the woman, saying it was deplorable that she was considering not inviting the young child.
One wrote: “To start with, the way you speak about this child is horrible. Secondly, it’s fairly common for a bride and groom not to have met everyone at their wedding, as partners of work colleges or friends will come who’ve you’ve never met.
“If you didn’t want an issue with ‘not knowing’ everyone then you shouldn’t have invited your cousin with a plus 1, who you say, you aren’t close to.”
Another added: “Your wedding, your choice. But you’ve made some big assumptions (she can easily stay with mum), and to be honest you sound a bit mean.
“If you’re going on the basis you don’t know her, and you’ve also said you’re not close to your cousin then don’t invite either of them.”
Someone else chimed in: “You’re pretty much saying everyone is welcome apart from this one child. It’s your wedding and you can do what you like but YABU to have an issue with this particular child. Any child can misbehave, it’s up to her dad to take her away if she disrupts anything.”
Despite this, a lot of people agreed with the poster, with many saying it was unfair of her cousin to ask for an extra plus one in the first place.
“You are not being unreasonable, the ADHD is irrelevant, you invited her and +1, not +2. Just tell her you don’t have capacity for anymore. She is cheeky for asking,” one person write.
“I agree that it’s your wedding and I wouldn’t want this child there either,” another added.
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