A woman who confessed she didn’t want her partner’s four-year-old daughter to have her own room in the house they bought together has been branded an “evil step-mother”.
The 24-year-old woman and her boyfriend recently purchased a three-bedroom house, which is a 30 minute drive away from where his little girl, Kate, and her mum live.
The home will consist of three bedrooms; including their bedroom, a bedroom converted into an office, and the third being the ‘guest’ bedroom.
She said that although she “loves Kate with all my heart”, she wants the room to be for guests – not specifically Kate.
The woman took to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum to ask if she was being unfair, according to The Mirror.
She wrote: “I love Kate with all my heart and she comes to visit us for short stays and sleepovers, more often in the summer time.
“Kate was really nervous about us moving so far away, and my boyfriend has reassured her that she will still get to visit all the time – and she will have her own bedroom waiting for her whenever she wants.
“My issue with this is that I don’t want Kate to treat the only spare bedroom as her personal bedroom. Rather, I want it to be thought of as a ‘guest’ bedroom.”
The woman continued to say that Kate will be welcome to stay in the ‘guest’ room whenever she wants, however she doesn’t want the room filled with her clothes and toys because no one else feels comfortable to stay in there.
She added: “I don’t think it’s fair that a room is reserved for someone who is not there 90% of the time.”
The woman also said she and her boyfriend are planning to have a baby of their own, and she wants to avoid the ‘circus’ of having to tell Kate in a few years time that her room will need to become a nursery.
“My boyfriend thinks I’m being unreasonable, that Kate needs her own room for stability, especially as she feels we are moving away from her. He says we can keep a pull-out sofa in our office for guests to stay on, and call the spare room Kate’s room,” she continued.
“I still don’t think it’s fair to have a room just for Kate when she won’t use it very often. And I think it’s reasonable to be worried at the prospect of eventually giving Kate’s room away to a future child.”
The woman was quickly inundated with comments from fellow Reddit users branding her an “evil step-mother” after her post.
They claimed she was also not providing adequate support for Kate.
One fellow Reddit user wrote: “Okay evil step-mother. Tell us more about how your hypothetical future child’s sibling is not part of your family.”
While another added: “You are not ready for this relationship. His daughter is not a guest, she’s a part of his life. And by acting the way you are, you are not making her feel welcome.”
A third said: “She is a child. A four-year-old. And you want to make sure she knows that isn’t her room. Marinate on that. You want to MAKE SURE a four-year-old isn’t too comfortable or at home in her dads home. If I were him I’d leave you.”
It seems like the woman took the advice from fellow Reddit users onboard as she later shared a follow up post confirming she had performed a complete U-turn on her decision.
“Call me naïve, but I simply didn’t realise the harm I was perpetuating by withholding a room of Kate’s own. By doing so, I was removing a sense of true belonging and welcome,” she wrote.
“The past few weeks, we have been occupied with our move and putting together the rooms. We haven’t moved over Kate’s bed and dresser yet, but we have freshly painted the wall Kate’s favourite light blue, and have bought a brand new Ikea toy chest for her.”
Things have been going so well between the three of them that they recently went out for a walk together to a park, where the woman’s husband proposed to her, with the help of Kate, who asked her in his behalf.
“As many of you have said, I shouldn’t have been concerned with welcoming Kate into my home, rather, I should be concerned with being welcomed into Kate’s home. And I do feel this,” she concluded.
“I want to be a part of Kate’s family, and I feel very lucky to be given the opportunity. And I promise I won’t let it go to waste.”