A GIRLFRIEND drew up a 17-page ‘relationship contract’ with her boyfriend just two weeks after they met on Tinder – demanding he pay for date nights, buy flowers twice a month and work out five times a week.
Annie Wright first met her boyfriend Michael Head on Tinder in October last year and after deciding he was ‘her person’ they agreed to be exclusive soon after.
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Determined to make the relationship work after having her ‘boundaries crossed’ in a previous toxic relationship, 21-year-old Annie joked they should write down their ‘terms and conditions’ for dating – and law student Michael eagerly agreed.
Shortly after Annie and Michael, 23, sat down and read out their own terms – including asking for ‘a romantic gesture once every two weeks’ and ‘working out at least five times a week alone’.
Other clauses included ‘no silent treatment’ and him paying for date nights.
Now Annie credits the lengthy 17-page contract as the key to their relationship success and even suggested they might give each other a ‘yearly review’ when they celebrate their one-year anniversary next month.
Annie, from Atlanta, in Georgia, said: “This has been a game changer. I’d recommend all couples have one. It’s the best thing ever.
“We treat our relationship almost like a business interaction. We deal with conflict like partners in business would. We sit down and treat it more like we’re partners in life and love is an added bonus.
“He was like ‘I want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend’. In order to be ready for that, we had to lay some serious ground rules.
“I made the idea [about the contract] as a joke then he said ‘no, seriously. We can do that and talk about it’.
“Now we’re approaching one year and when we rewrite it, I bet he writes ‘I want you to take your shoes off when you come into my apartment’ because I always forget that.
“It’s getting it out the way. I highly recommend it. I’m surprised more people don’t do it.
“We’re partners in this. We’re agreeing to tackle life together and this is our game plan for doing it.”
Annie had just come out of a long-term relationship last year when she initially planned to enjoy life as a university student, partying and using dating apps.
But after matching with Michael on Tinder and inviting him on a dog walk, she knew instantly she wanted to make things work.
Annie said: “At the time, I had braces in college and I was very embarrassed. It was also pandemic time.
“But I got to the point where I was like ‘screw it – I’m going on dates with guys and don’t care anymore’.
“I matched with almost anybody on Tinder and would tell my matches ‘I’m going on a walk with my dog at 2pm today – are you free?’.
“It was a fluke that I met him. I was going on three Tinder dates a week to go out there and meet people.
We drew up individual contracts and came together like on The Apprentice and presented them
Annie Wright
“I decided that living in a college town, I was never going to get this opportunity again.
“On his profile, he had a selfie of him reading a book. If I had gone into it with the mindset of finding a serious relationship, I don’t think I’d have found him.
“I met him and was like ‘I will make this work’. They say you meet someone and you’re like ‘wow, this is the person’.
“I had that moment with Michael where I was looking at him and he was everything I could ever have wanted in a partner, but at that stage in my life I wasn’t at that point mentally.
“I was still partying and I’m a junior in college. He was top of his class, very organised.
“I was like ‘this is the dude I want to marry but our lives don’t correlate well’.
“It came to the point where we realised pretty quickly we were serious about each other, but I’d come out of a toxic relationship and swore off dating seriously.
“I met him and thought ‘I’m going to figure out how to make dating work again’.”
Determined not to fall into a doomed relationship again, Annie then agreed to draw up the contract and present it ‘like on The Apprentice’.
Annie said: “We drew up individual contracts and came together like on The Apprentice and presented them.
“We printed out of terms and conditions, I went over to his place, we sat on either end of the bed and read them out loud.
“I felt like the biggest issue I had in my last relationship was it felt like boundaries of mine were crossed that I never established.
“I was like ‘this time I’ll write them out and no one can cross my boundaries’. Michael’s also pre-law so he was pretty keen on the idea of making a contract.
“We talked about love languages. He was the one who brought it up. It helped to outline ways we feel appreciated.
“I don’t think he’d think to give me gifts but now every time he goes to a gas station, he gets me flowers.
“He likes quality time, so I wake up and go to the gym with him. Even though most of the time I’m doing nothing, he enjoys chit-chatting.
“I don’t like it when people pry – I’ll talk when I’m ready and I like to get my words together. That’s something I wrote in there.
“The biggest one was approaching issues. We agreed not to approach issues with blame. It could be partially his fault and partially me being sensitive, or him being sensitive and partially my tone.
“We don’t treat issues like one person is to blame ever.”
Now the couple are happily enjoying their relationship and believe others should consider their own ‘terms and conditions’ to help prevent conflict early on.
Annie claims they updated the document every six months and may even do a yearly review of what went well and what needed improvement.
Annie said: “People just fall into relationships. This makes me know what I’m signing up for. I live in constant fear of waking up two years into a relationship and realising my partner doesn’t have the same life plan as me.
“You’ve put one or two years into a relationship but you don’t agree on the core things. If you don’t have that core connection, you’re wasting time and prolonging heartbreak.
“At this point, we update it every six months or so. We’ll visit it.
“Originally he’d say ‘I probably need two or three days away during busy times in the year’ but now we don’t do that anymore. It’ll just be quiet time where I’m still at his apartment but just with my headphones in.
“We revisit it and make a new document every so often. We keep joking that every year we’ll do a yearly review.
“We’ll say ‘here are the things that were great this year, here are the things that need improvement’.”
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