‘I always put my needs above my child – you need to reassess your life if you don’t’

A mum has split the internet by saying parents need to reassess their lives if they don’t care for themselves before their children.

Raya Michelle, sparked a debate online after mentioning her needs for self care and insisting that she is right.

She explained in a viral video: “The order in which my care gets dispersed inside our home, with the people in our home, goes: Me – I care for myself, my partner and then my child.

“‘But Raya, that feels backwards, shouldn’t you?!’ No, because if my needs aren’t getting met and I’m not feeling cared for, nobody on this list below me is having a good time.”

Raya added that “nobody is going to have a good time” if her husband’s needs are not met either.



Mum-of-one Raya said taking care of yourself makes you a better parent

“Because my needs won’t get met and his aren’t met and neither of us could meet our daughter’s needs if our needs aren’t met,” she said.

“I don’t feel like it’s that hard but people keep saying things like ‘my child is the only thing that gives meaning to me life,’ then you need to reassess your life.'”

Some parents slammed Raya and said the needs of her children should come first “always”.

“It doesn’t matter what you need if your children go without,” one commented.



The parent explained her needs are above both her partner and her daughter
The parent explained her needs are above both her partner and her daughter

A second wrote: “No, my child is first. My needs are to raise an amazing daughter. Maybe this is why kids these days are um…well you know.”

Raya said she was trying to “break generational curses and vibing”, adding that it’s more about the emotional care and self care.

A viewer shared his opinion: “Basically like saying ‘you gotta put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can help others’.”

Another said: “This goes for both mental and physical needs. Sometimes mum needs to hear appreciation more, sometimes she needs her air.”

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