I NEVER tell my daughter to say sorry- my gentle parenting approach means we’ve side-stepped the terrible twos

ASK any parent what their most challenging time was and chances are it’ll be the terrible twos.

You know, that crazy year when your toddler randomly erupts into tantrums one moment and is bouncing off the walls the next.


Rachael Rogers believes she’s side-stepped the terrible twos thanks to gentle parentingCredit: TikTok/@ rachlynnrogers
The mum never tells her daughter to say sorry


The mum never tells her daughter to say sorryCredit: @rachlynnrogers/Tiktok

Well rather than resorting to yelling, mum Rachael Rogers prefers a “gentle parenting” approach.

And it’s worked so well that she believes the family have side-stepped the terrible twos entirely.

In a viral video that’s racked up over 54,000 “likes”, the mum gushed: “I love watching how gentle parenting is helping us create such a kind and respectful individual.”

The clip opens with Rachael’s daughter eating lunch – and she’s all too happy to share with her mum.


As her daughter strokes her face and gazes adoringly at her mum, Rachael wrote: “No terrible two’s here!”

In another video, Rachael went through all the different types of parenting and said her approach “comes from a place of understanding”.

She said: “[Gentle parenting] is teaching our children that feeling emotions is totally normal and okay.

“And that should be safe to show those emotions and process through them in front of other people.

“Gentle and respectful parenting teaches self-regulation. It provides children with coping skills.

“It decreases problematic behaviour because a child feels understood rather than controlled.”

Using the example of a child hitting their parent, Rachael said the gentle parenting approach would be to tell them it’s “okay to feel angry but not okay to hit.”

Instead, she urges parents to ask their kids what it is they need and tell them that they’re “there to help”.

Gentle and respectful parenting teaches self-regulation. It provides children with coping skills.

What’s more, the mum says she never tells her daughter to say sorry – instead teaching her how to learn emotionally that they did something wrong. 

In the video, she says: “I don’t tell her to say sorry, because I actually want her to be sorry.

“There’s a part of a child’s brain called the prefrontal Cortex that controls impulses and emotions and is responsible for calm decision making. 

“This is underdeveloped until they’re in their mid twenties. 

“So when you have a two-year-old that is freaking out emotionally and impulsively hitting or screaming, kicking or biting, it actually boils down to brain development. 

“So they will learn empathy best by seeing it modelled.”


However, her viewers had mixed feelings about her parenting hack. 

One wrote: “Sometimes we kinda (sic) needed the sorry word too. My mama never apologized to me she just started to act nice suddenly.”

Another wrote: “I like this but to a certain degree, other people’s emotions are not her responsibility. The operative part would be to teach her that hitting is -”

A third wrote: “That’s a huge guilt trip, and she doesn’t have to say sorry but does have to and has to kiss him. It’s not her job to make him feel better.”

A fourth wrote: “Forcing children to say sorry after they did something wrong, kind teaches them that they can lie about being sorry and just say it to move on.”

For more parenting stories, mums shared the most psychologically damaging things you can say to a child – and why you should NEVER question them.

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