AMY Christophers has told of her secret heartbreak after she finished filming Married at First Sight.
The former glamour model’s marriage to ex Joshua Christie lasted just 25 days after the cameras switched off – despite choosing to renew their vows.
Amy, 35, broke down in tears at the Reunion show on Monday as she explained Josh’s “lack of effort” was the cause of their break up.
Today she admitted letting her emotions getting the better of her amid “pressure” to make her marriage work.
She told The Sun: “I feel overwhelmingly sad now the experiment is over – it’s been my whole year.
“As soon as I pressed send on that application I was committed to this. After all the s*** I had been through I wanted my happily ever after.
“I went into this experiment with such high expectations because I fully believed this was my time and this would be my forever person.
“And I guess at times I put way too much pressure on myself and Josh for it to work in there and at times I let my emotions get the better of me from things unaired where you just saw my reactions.
“It’s made for hard viewing at times and I didn’t recognise myself in those moments, but I just know how much I cared.
“I was just a girl waning someone to see them, hear them and love them.
“When I’m in, I’m all in and want the same back.”
As Amy sobbed on the sofa in front of the experts in Monday’s episode, matchmaker Mel questioned why Josh hadn’t offered to hug his ex.
The pair then shared an awkward hug after Josh was urged to comfort her.
Commenting after the Reunion aired, Josh said: “Never change yourself for anybody and always go with your gut instinct.”
Amy signed up to MAFS after a horrific year, which saw her fiancé walk out on her, losing her unborn twins and her mother’s stroke.
She says she put everything into their relationship, believing Josh was ‘the one’ having been sent to her by the experts – and the universe.
Reflecting on her failed relationship, Amy added: “I kept getting just enough to think ‘yes, this could be it’, but in the real world I never have and never will settle for crumbs.
“I was just asking for the pure basics of a relationship, yet felt like I was asking for the world.
“But I carried on as I clung onto the fact that we had been professionally matched and this is my person the experts and universe thought I should be with so it has to work!”
Despite their relationship ending before the E4 show aired, Amy kept wearing her wedding ring and kept her split secret.
“I didn’t want to spoil it for the viewers, so for the past month I put my ring back on and let the show play out,” she said.
“In a weird way part of me actually liked the pretence and I felt comforted by having people thinking we made it because I wish we had.
“Going through a break up with someone you have fallen for is hard, let alone whilst it’s being played out to an entire nation.
“I had to hide the fact I’d gone through a break-up. No one apart from my closest friends even knew I had the show at that point.
“I had to put the show and the viewers’ enjoyment first.”
Keeping her single status secret meant Amy wasn’t able to share her heartbreak with pals – or find someone new.
But she’s now determined to work on herself and wait to find true love.
She said: “I missed out on my ‘hot girl summer’, didn’t get to cry on a random in a nightclub toilet and post break up quotes everywhere – they’re incoming!
“Now the nation knows I’m single all the good ones have already settled down for cuffing season.
“But that’s probably a good thing because now it’s time for me to heal and work on myself – again.
‘Someone much more mature than me said ‘you can’t heal what you don’t reveal’.
“This has been a real eye-opener for me and the work I’m still left to do in order for me to be the best version of me to finally meet my person.
“I have so much love to give and I can’t wait to meet them.”
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