A MOTHER has revealed that she’s asked her 16-year-old daughter to help her out by paying rent but her daughter has outright refused.
Posting to a Mumsnet forum, the mother explained that her daughter is turning 17 at the end of October and started an apprenticeship earlier in the summer that pays £14.5k per year.
Her daughter has no financial obligations apart from buying herself lunch each day, which the busy mum says she doesn’t need to do as there is food at home.
“I have asked her to contribute £50 per week to the household,” she explained.
“For that, she will have all food provided, washing done, all the hot water she can use, lifts to wherever she wants, pretty much whenever she wants them, a lift to and from work each day (we don’t live on a bus route) and other usual stuff.
“Well, she’s made me feel like the worst mother in the world for asking.
I’ve explained that we’ve lost her child benefit now, and I’m expecting her dad to stop paying maintenance too (not that his £17 a week makes a huge difference to be fair) but our outgoings have remained the same or increased.”
The mother has also asked the 16-year-old to pay her phone bill after she had a brand new iPhone X in July on the premise that she would pay the bill.
She added: “We haven’t had a penny yet, but it’s attached to our BT account so if we don’t pay it, we screw up our own credit rating.
“The board I have asked her for will be put straight towards her driving lessons.
“I’ve already bought her provisional driving licence and she has a car waiting for when she has passed her test.”
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While the poster originally thought her requests were fair, her daughter’s response has had her second-guessing them.
She posted to the forum looking for guidance, asking others whether she was being unreasonable and what they would do if their child decided not to pay.
People were quick to comment, with many people supporting the mum’s decision.
“You’re not being unreasonable at all! A 16-year-old on nearly 15k a year needs to pay some board – even just a nominal gesture. She can save the rest, which will put her in a very good position financially,” one person said.
“And if she ‘decides’ not to pay, she can also ‘decide’ to rent a place of her own.”
Someone else added: “When I read the thread title I thought it was a bit mean, however, I have changed my mind and think you are possibly spoiling her a bit. I’d be inclined to stop the lifts, the driving lessons and the phone and let her organise and pay for these things herself.”
Someone else said if the daughter isn’t willing to pay, there are a variety of things the mother can do.
They explained: “If she doesn’t pay don’t cook for her, don’t allow her access to laundry detergent etc, no doubt anything for her, lifts, laundry etc.
“If she doesn’t want to pay for her luxuries and recognise you are being very generous, she can pay for everything she needs.”
Despite the overflowing support in the comments, there were others who disagreed with the original post.
“Of course you’re being unreasonable. You are asking a 16-year-old child to pay to stay in their own home,” one person said.
“You shouldn’t have had kids you can’t pay for.”
A second person added: “Life is really tough for young people now and it’s harder than ever to buy a house or just survive so having some savings would be great for her.”
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