‘My wife won’t let me hold our newborn baby – I’m worried she won’t bond with me’

Do you remember the first few weeks with your newborn? This special time is all about bonding with the baby and getting to know your tiny child.

You might be exhausted and overwhelmed, but most parents look back on this time with fondness and tonnes of love.

Unfortunately, one dad has been left feeling like he’s missing out on those special few weeks with his daughter because his wife refuses to let him hold her.

Posting on Reddit, the bloke said he’s been forced into extreme measures to try and spend time with his baby, reports the Mirror.

He wrote: “My daughter is two weeks old and I have barely held her since she was born. My wife constantly has her.

“When I do get to hold her, my wife just starts crying hysterically until I give her back.

“I asked her why and she said she was anxious that something would happen to our daughter and that’s why she felt the need to hold her so close.”

Posters were worried about his wife’s mental health

He had tried to reassure his wife that their infant would be safe in his arms, and had even begged her to let him look after her while mum sleeps, showers or eats, but to no avail.

The new dad continued: “I felt like I was losing precious bonding time with my daughter so I did what I thought I had to do. My wife fell asleep on the sofa with our child, I took her, went to the guest bedroom and locked the door.

“My wife woke up shortly after, very upset of course that our daughter wasn’t with her. She soon realised I was in the guest room and begged me to open the door.

“She was crying, kicking, and screaming. I didn’t open it though, and spent a good couple hours with our daughter in there.”

His wife’s mum called him after the event and berated him for removing the baby from his postpartum partner.

He added: “My wife has been furious with me and won’t speak and I’m just so frustrated because I really just wanted to spend quality time with my child but maybe that wasn’t the way to do it.”

The frustrated parent asked for advice on how to remedy the situation.

Postpartum depression or anxiety can cause irrational behaviour
Postpartum depression or anxiety can cause irrational behaviour

One commenter said: “Your wife needs help ASAP, from an actual therapist or doctor, not you. You both need to come up with coping strategies if she has post-partum depression or severe anxiety.

“You should not antagonise her by locking yourself in a room with your child. Please get some help and eyes on this situation immediately. For everyone’s safety.”

While another added: “Is no one else concerned about the safety of the baby? The mother literally won’t put her down.

“She fell asleep with her. That’s so dangerous.”

And a third said: “You absolutely should have taken the baby out of her arms at least for the sake of safety. But locking yourself in a room while your wife is in agony isn’t cool.

“No one’s mental health is being looked after.”

If you or your partner is suffering with mental ill health after birth please contact your GP, midwife or health visitor to get help.

You can read more about postnatal depression on the NHS website. Or, visit mind.org.uk for further resources.


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