National tell a joke day: Dad joke inspiration to get your friends howling

It’s safe to say most of us enjoy a joke – laughing until our stomach hurts or cracking up at a hilarious pun.

National Tell a Joke Day has come around and its the perfect opportunity to spread some cheer amongst your friends.

Everyone delivers jokey anecdotes differently, but nothing can beat a quick pun or one liner.

With jokes being part of our culture since 1900 BC – everyone has a few old favourites stored up in waiting for the perfect punny moment.

Laughing is not only a great way to bond with mates – it also relieves tension and stress and is known to boost your immune system.

So what are you waiting for? It’s time to spread the laughter!

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c–

MOO!

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Neil.

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favourite type of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

What did one wall say to the other?

I’ll meet you at the corner.

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.

… but then I turned myself around.

Have you heard the rumour about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it’s a soap opera.

Who’s there?

Hawaii.

Hawaii who?

I’m good. Hawaii you?

How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the fresh prints.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

Just burned 2,000 calories.

That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.

My dad told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

Traffic jam.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.

I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro.

It’s a total rip-off.

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