After creation, God started handing characteristics to all the animals he had created. Some animals opted for fear, some wisdom, beauty, and the list went on. Done with most of the animals, he was finally left with the lions, beavers, and pigs.
He called out the next characteristic on his list which was “courage.” The remaining animals quickly discussed amongst themselves, trying to see how courage would help them survive in the world.
A pig suggested to his mates that the characteristic was excellent and they should have it. But another immediately noted that courage wasn’t good because they would always have to face danger, humans would hunt them, and the stress wasn’t worth it. So all the pigs agreed to wait for the next characteristic, while the lions spoke up and picked “courage.”
The next trait on the list was “industrious.” Again, the remaining animals properly accessed it. This time, another pig thought “industrious” was a good one, and they should grab it.
But another objected and explained that with such character, they would get up every morning and work hard all day and no one wanted that. He believed God saved the best for last, so he suggested they all wait. So the beavers picked industriousness and left.
At this point, God scanned the now almost empty list in his hand before calling out “wings.” Still, one pig noted that flying would be too stressful.
God looked at the pigs and wondered why it was so difficult for them to decide. He turned to his scanty list and said:
“Let’s see, claws are taken, the flight went to the birds, the cheetah got speed… Okay, here we go. Who wants to be delicious?”
THE DRUNKEN PIG
A young man and his pig walk into a bar at about 5 pm, ready for a refreshing time. They settled in and placed their orders. When the bartender brought their drinks, the two savored the flavor.
As the night grew darker, the fun became better. They watched TV, ate peanuts, and drank. The bartender came towards them with their bill and noted that the bar would close soon.
The man ordered one last drink, and the barman immediately brought it. But as he placed their orders on the table, the pig and his master pushed them aside, as they were too full and too drunk.
The pig fell flat on the ground, and the man handed the barman some cash. He stood up and staggered towards the exit door. But halfway through the bar, the bartender yelled:
“Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”
However, the very drunk man looked at the barman, thinking he did not know what he was talking about. Feeling quite clever, the man replied, “That’s not a lion, that’s a pig.”
If you enjoyed these jokes, you might find this one even more hilarious. It’s about a deer that went into a bar and told the bartender that he was a doctor. The story of how he became a doctor will crack you up!
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