I’ve had a very rocky relationship with my partner Ben. When we started dating he was engaged to another woman so that was tricky.
He was cheating on her with me and when that woman found out about me, Ben ended it with her and we’ve been together ever since.
We’ve had several break ups over the years but not since our son was born.
Things are feeling quite stable at the moment and I was hoping it would stay that way. I’ve had some health issues and I really couldn’t handle another fight with Ben. He’s the kind of person who takes everything very personally and our arguments are dreadful. I couldn’t handle the stress.
But lately I thought we’d been doing quite well. Our love life is good, we seem to enjoy each other’s company and now that the kids are getting older, we’re doing more fun things together. Hopefully we can start travelling again soon.
One day I was on my social media and noticed that Ben’s Facebook page was open. I stupidly started having a look and I was very upset by what I found. I saw that he is back in touch with the woman he was engaged to when I first met him. Lots of messages, and all ending with kisses and love hearts. I felt absolutely sick.
She lives in another state so I don’t think they’re having an affair but it looked like they are moving in that direction.
So while I was busy being nosy and stalking Ben’s social media I also saw that his work email account was open. I couldn’t resist having a search of his emails to see if his ex girlfriend was in there – and she sure was!
The worst thing I found though absolutely devastated me as it was an email exchange between Ben and his best friend where Ben mentioned that he “married the wrong woman.” And then spoke of his ex-girlfriend, saying he still had very strong feelings for her.
I later learned that his ex-girlfriend was going through a divorce and she’d reached out to Ben, and not the other way around. Still it didn’t make any difference to me as they were still very much into each other.
I confronted Ben and he was furious that I’d invaded his privacy and read his emails. But he was forced to admit what was going on and acknowledging that he was doing the wrong thing by me. It forced us to take a good look at our marriage, what was working, what wasn’t working. And we made a decision to commit to our relationship and Ben promised he’d no longer communicate with his ex.
So far, I think he has kept his promise. But, then again, there’d be no stopping him from setting up another email account and writing to her on that, or another social media account. I just have to trust him if I want my marriage to last.