WITH all the new words and phrases forced on us these days, it can sometimes feel like the world has gone batty.
Yesterday, we revealed cricket chiefs have called for “batsman” to be replaced by the gender-neutral term “batter”. The move, after 233 years, stumped fans who accused the Marylebone Cricket Club – which helps run the game – of “going woke”.
They have a point. Hardly a week goes by without some word being deemed unacceptable.
It can be hard to keep up.
So here to help is our cut-out-and-keep guide to all the other terms the wokerati have thrown up.
Pay attention if you don’t want to be cancelled . . .
A is for aggression, or rather, micro aggression. This is used to describe subtle slurs on a minority group, whether intentional or unintentional.
B is for batters. Cricketers should now use this gender-neutral term instead of the offensive “batsman”.
C is for chest-feeding. Staff at a maternity unit in Brighton were encouraged to use this peculiar term to be more inclusive.
D is for different sex. To replace the term “opposite sex,” which is offensive to people who don’t identify as male or female.
E is for outdoor eating. Students at the American Brandeis University said the word “picnic” is offensive as they claim it is associated with people in the Deep South watching the lynching of black men. In fact, it’s linked to the French term pique-nique.
F is for #FBPE. This weird acronym is a vital addition to your name on Twitter if you’re still angry about Brexit. FBPE stands for “Follow Back pro-European Union”, inviting others to follow you and share in the frustration.
G is for gestational parent, the person who grows and gives birth to a baby. A woke swap for “mother”.
H is for healthy baby. Midwives were told to stop using the term “big baby” and replace it with this. Also human milk is now preferred to breast milk.
I is for identify. You can seemingly identify as almost anything these days and enjoy the privileges — or otherwise — attached to that. As Piers Morgan mockingly said, he chooses to identify as a penguin.
J is for journey. Blame the X Factor. It describes whatever you go through now, even if you never left the house.
K is for Karen, a slang term for a middle-aged, entitled white woman who “abuses her privileges”. Woke warriors made the term popular, then banned it for being discriminatory.
L is for lived experience. This refers to your personal knowledge and experience. Also for lover. The Associated Press recently struck out the word “mistress” as it implied the woman was at fault, suggesting “lover”, or “companion” were better.
M is for menstruators. The Guardian got flak from women (and men) when it used this term in a headline about period pain. But woke advocates favour it, saying there are women who don’t menstruate and “menstruators” who aren’t women.
N is for non-binary. A person who doesn’t feel they fit into “male” or “female” genders. Singer Sam Smith declared he was non-binary and prefers to be referred to as they/them.
O is for organised. You should not casually say you have OCD as that is offensive to people with the condition. Say: “I am very organised.”
P is for pronouns. It is no longer a case of whether you are male or female but what your preferred pronouns are. The non-binary Crown actress Emma Corrin recently said she uses the “she/they” combination.
Q is for queer. It was once considered a slur but now covers a whole spectrum of sexuality and is embraced by stars including Lily Cole, who said recently: “I like that word because of its openness.”
R is for Richard. Spotted Dick, a favourite pudding for generations, became the rather more prudish Spotted Richard at Flintshire County Council’s canteen in 2009.
S is for speciesism. Bad-mouthing animals, or “speciesism” — naturally assuming humans are morally superior to other animals — should be considered a hate crime according to two academics writing in the Oxford Journal of Legal Studies.
T is for they. Used by people who don’t identify as he/him or she/her (see Non-binary above). Also trigger warning used to warn readers and viewers of “sensitive content”, like in the works of, er, Shakespeare.
U is for uncancelled. Upset the woke mob and been cancelled? Worry not, you can come back better if you learn to play by the new rules.
V is for virtue signalling. It’s not enough to be woke, you have to prove it to your 67 followers on social media by retweeting articles posted by left-wing celebrities (without actually reading them, natch).
W is for woke. It’s used all the time but you could be forgiven for not knowing what it means. Woke is the past form of “wake” — you are awake to injustices. Rhymes with “joke”.
X is for womxn — the “men” or “man” part of women and woman is considered sexist by some, who suggest using this unpronounceable word.
Y is for your truth. No one can argue with you as this is what you have experienced or believe. Even if you are clearly wrong/lying.
Z is for Zoomers. After World War Two, we had the baby boomers, and since then we’ve had millennials, Gen X and Y. Zoomers — which comes from the current term Generation Z — refers to the often woke people who were born from the late Nineties to the early Noughties.