Writing a will may seem like a daunting process. It forces a person to come to terms with what may happen after their death and who they would like to be the beneficiary of their assets.
Because of this, many people often put off writing a will, sometimes indefinitely. This is, however, a dangerous move as the lack of a will, or an unclear will, can cause disputes between members of your family.
Ultimately, having a will would make things a lot easier for you and your family during an already difficult time. But when a family member isn’t happy with what they received from the will, a major argument is bound to follow suit.
In the case of one Reddit user, he took to the popular subreddit r/AITA, which stands for (Am I the A**hole). Users share their experiences on this page asking for advice and seeking to know whether they made the right decision in that scenario.
The user said: “My dad got divorced a year ago from a woman who is not my biological mother, so he just redid his will to write her out.
“I saw a copy of the will today that he left on his table and this is how he has divided it among my family:
“5% to my older sister (they had a financial dispute)
15% to my older sister’s only child.
15% to my younger sister
15% to myself
25% to my brother
25% to my brother’s only child”
The man continued to express his disappointment as he felt he had ‘spent more time with his dad than anyone’ and believed he had ‘no interpersonal reason’ to give him less.
He said: “ I also have a disability that’s been proven in a trial for me to get disability benefits, so I’m incapable of working full time, though I have a part time job that I work a few hours a week.
“The reason he gave me and my younger sister less is because our mother is an MD so she makes a good salary as a doctor, and since my half-siblings’ mother died long ago, he argues that they won’t get the inheritance that we will.
“My brother and his son also have some mental health issues that he uses to justify the inequality, which has kept my brother from working on occasion throughout his life.”
The user asked the internet if he was the a** hole for being upset about not receiving 25% of the will, as he believed he should be given a fair share due to his disability and good relationship with his father.
He concluded: “I’m thinking of confronting him over it, but it feels weird to do because by nature any addition for me would mean subtraction from whoever of my siblings, who I all love and have good relationships with.
“WIBTA if I do confront him in an attempt to advocate for the 25% I feel I should be given? Also he doesn’t know I saw the will, but he left it out in the open at the time he invited me over, so maybe I shouldn’t have looked but it’s not like I unsealed a document.”
This is where things got a little hectic, as many angry Reddit users took to the forum to express their opinion on the matter, and they certainly weren’t positive.
Here’s a key to help you decipher the comments:
You’re the a** hole (& the other party is not) = YTA
You’re Not the a** hole (& the other party is) = NTA
Everyone sucks here = ESH
No a** holes here = NAH
Not enough info = INFO
It would seem that in this case, the internet does in fact think that this man is the a** hole.
One angry user replied: “YTA. It’s not your decision to make. Also, I’d be careful here. If your older sister is only getting five per cent because of a financial dispute, I’d argue you could do the same thing to yourself by bringing this up. People don’t take nicely for being asked for more money from their will.”
With another one adding: “YTA- it is HIS money. Whether he gives you 15% or 0% depends on his choice. It’s somewhat expected but selfish to think that your father owes you money. For what? For being born?”
After receiving a huge majority of “YTA” votes, the original user that asked the question attempted to clear his name: “I can accept that I WBTA for confronting him. However, maybe I didn’t make the post clear enough by not delving into all of our personal situations, but he’s not trying to create a net equal situation, or if he truthfully is he’s not actually executed it.
“Just an example – my younger sister is about to get a doctorate, while I’m disabled and can’t do any full time work, and we’re getting the same inheritance.
“If he’s trying to balance for situations out of our control, I don’t see how that makes sense, especially when you look at the difference in inheritance between his two young grandchildren”
But it seems his attempt didn’t work, as the thread has now been deleted by Reddit as it violates ‘Rule 7’.
A moderator said: “AITA posts should not be about feelings or opinions. AITA posts should be about recent specific conflicts you have had with other people. If you’re receiving this message your post is likely about feelings, opinions, or desires rather than a concrete conflict.”
So, do you think he’s the a** hole?